It’s hard to think about anything else when you’re grieving. Your mind is consumed with all the what-ifs and maybes. What could I have done differently? Why did they have to go? Will I ever see them again?
These are the questions that keep us up at night, long after we’ve said our goodbyes. And it’s natural to feel this way. Grief is a process that takes time. But there are things you can do to make the journey a little easier.
One of those things is living in the moment. When you’re living in the moment, your focus is only on that moment. The past and the future can’t touch you. You’re in the here and now.
This can be a helpful tool when you’re grieving, because it allows you to focus on the present, which is all you have. The past is gone, and the future is yet to be written. All you have is this moment.
Remaining in the present takes practice. While you’re learning how to live in the moment, remember that it gets easier as time goes on.
You can work on controlling your thoughts, but one practice that’s all about staying in the present moment is meditation. This simple exercise can also help you get over your grief.
Here are some meditation tips:
- Make a meditation schedule – 30 minutes per day every day.
- Go to a place where you can relax and be alone.
- Sit in a position with good posture.
- Take deep breaths in and out.
- You can use a “mantra” or positive affirmation to help you focus.
- When thoughts arise, acknowledge them, and then let them go.
The most difficult thing you might encounter when learning to meditate is calming your busy mind. Focusing on your breathing helps clear away extraneous thoughts and worries.
When you’re grief stricken, it’s an especially difficult time to keep a clear mind. Thoughts of the past will likely continue to come up in your practice. This is normal. As you continue practicing, it will get easier to focus on the now.
An important thing to remember is to avoid judging yourself. Don’t punish yourself for thinking of the past when you’re trying not to think about it. Realize your mind is taking a turn you didn’t intend, and then lightly nudge it back in the right direction. Be grateful that you were able to catch yourself in the midst of a negative thought, and then move on.
Keeping Up Your Practice
Once you’ve adopted a philosophy of present moment thinking, focus on keeping up with your practice. Rather than a mechanism you turn to only when you’re in a pinch, consistent present moment thinking can bring you an exhilarating new lifestyle!
When you learn to live in the moment, you’ll find peace and happiness in life. You’ll be more calm and collected, and enjoy every moment for what it is. How amazing is this!
Moment By Moment
As your practice deepens, you’ll fully realize that life is just a series of moments. It’s not a definable measure of time, but you’ll feel many moments in every minute. Little by little, you’ll learn to recognize them.
You may find it difficult to remain in the present, just because you must refer to the past and plan for the future to live. This is true, of course, but once the reflection is over, and the planning is put away, your goal is to remain in the moment as much as possible.
- Refer to the past when you must, but avoid reliving grief or daydreaming.
- Plan for the future, but don’t obsess over it.
- Simply look at what you’re experiencing right now and immerse yourself in it.
When your attention is focused on the present moment, you’ll be shocked at how invigorating life can be! When you’re able to focus on the present, it might help you get through your sadness. It won’t make things better, but it will help you cope with your loss. So attempt to set aside some time each day to appreciate people and things that are important to you. It may not be simple, but it’s definitely worthwhile.